What’s wrong with me?

While doing some research just now, sister Ann happened on line and we grabbed the opportunity to chat.

Topics around me…

Well, not much specific. Just rambling. Somehow I got myself into emotional, I cried while I was chatting with her. I wonder,  what’s going on?

Was that because of my aunt? Just felt very sorry indeed that I couldn’t attend her funeral…What’s more? Not really sure. May be for the uncertainty of life, unsecure of life, being apart, fear of facing many things alone here by myself, lack of confidence to bring up my kids, fear of getting to know the bad news, fear of….Oh, what’s wrong with me? Didn’t I promise myself that no matter how, I need to carry on; no matter how, I should give myself the encouragement to face the fear that actually always around me? Didn’t I promise myself no matter how, I should give myself a good smile though how tough my life is…

I couldn’t stop my tears while I was IM with her. I hate this feeling. A real mixed feeling inside. A feeling that is so complicated and somehow I really couldn’t figure out what’s the problem is. 

I can’t help myself but burst into tears when I deeply sensed my sis’s love and care. I may be fragile, I may be emotional, but that’s always me since young. That’s always a disgusting me and I’ve tried all the ways not to have such kind of character but years after years, I am still a crying bun.

My eyes were swallen as I was writing this post…

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2 comments so far

  1. MK on

    保重

  2. WAhYeong Chew on

    There is nothing wrong with you!

    Most people would say human being has a brain to think and a heart to feel. Some people might explain that a person who cries too easily cos he/she is soft-hearted and a person who grows white hairs too early cos he/she uses his/her brain too much.

    Well, people are talking of the way of ‘optimum balance’. ( zhong yong zhi dao ) Can we have a balance of the thinking and feeling in ourself?
    An expert might claim that any person can be ‘trained’ to achieve that balance. Of course, it is not easy for all people. Normally, it is easier to be said than to be done!

    To me, the heart is meant for blood circulation and the brain for multiple functions.People say that our brain is delicate yet so complex, so complicated, so powerful,……..

    Have you ever heard of the left brain (for logical thinking) and the right brain (for creative thinking)? How about the mid-brain (for emotions)?

    Have you ever experienced emotions like ‘love or hatred’, ‘fear or anger’, ‘pride or shame’,joy or sorrow’………..?

    Every individual has his/her own identity. It is rather difficult for me to show you two persons having the same intensity of those complex combinations of thinking and feeling.

    Just be what you are! Try to think positively and feel with love and affection. There are sunshines and rainbows everywhere! Always feel young even though we are growing older physically.

    You have used the word ‘fear’ many times in your post. Do remember that a person who believes in God will fear God only.Cheers!


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